Vulnerability

Vulnerability is one of the most difficult parts of the human experience. Exposing yourself is risky business. High stakes, potentially no reward. We all so desperately want to be known.

In every relationship, we seek to be known by the other person. We constantly walk the line of exposing just enough of ourselves to be accepted, but not showing too much to be rejected. A constant game of Russian roulette… share a piece of yourself, wait for a response. If it’s positive, you give it another round. If it’s negative, you take a step back and nurture the wounds that still aren’t ready to be uncovered.

Those who accept the flaws and allow you to go a round, or two, or even a few more, give you the courage to keep going. Unfortunately a negative response does far more damage than a positive, just like a gunshot wound, the rejection cuts deep and may splinter into other insecurities – feeling unloved, unworthy, unwanted, inadequate – that make vulnerability that much more difficult.

It’s easier to put the gun away and not play the game at all. Why risk the excruciating pain, when you can protect yourself all together? If I put up a facade and convince everyone that I am without flaws, or at least very few, then I can be accepted. But we can tell the difference can’t we? Acceptance for our version of perfection only provides momentary happiness. Once the temporary pleasure wears off, you’re left with the emptiness of knowing that it’s not real.

Nothing compares to sharing a piece of your story, heart pounding, and being greeted on the other end with a warm embrace and a feeling of acceptance. Now imagine someone who will never make you feel unloved, unworthy, unwanted, or inadequate. Someone who knows the things you can’t tell anyone, your deepest secrets, and still loves you more than anything. Someone who knew you before your conception.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb… I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well… your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.“
Psalm 139:13-16

Our biggest fear is being fully known and not fully loved. In the Lord, we are fully known and fully loved.

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.”
Romans 8:38

I encourage you, along with myself, to find those who you can be vulnerable with. Humans are not meant to exist apart from fellowship. Find your people, but know that no matter what, there is One who fully knows and fully loves you.

Just. As. You. Are.